A Hilarious Journey Through Southwest Michigan’s Green Scene
Let me tell you about my recent adventure searching frantically for a cannabis dispensary in Southwest Michigan. Picture this: there I was, trying to navigate between Hartford and Watervliet, when my GPS decided to have what I can only describe as its own personal spiritual journey.
“Turn left at the next cornfield,” it confidently announced. Which cornfield, you ask? ALL OF THEM ARE CORNFIELDS!
Here’s what I learned during my quest to find Zip Cannabis (before finally succeeding):
- Cows are terrible at giving directions
- That “shortcut” through Lawrence isn’t actually shorter
- Coloma’s welcome sign looks suspiciously like it’s winking at you
- Keeler has exactly three stop signs, and they’re all surprisingly chatty
The funny thing about searching for a cannabis dispensary in these parts is that everyone becomes an amateur tour guide. “Oh, you’re looking for Zip Cannabis? It’s right past Old Man Johnson’s tractor… you know, the red one. Or maybe it’s blue. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s even a tractor.”
By the time I reached Covert, I had developed a deep philosophical relationship with my car’s navigation system. We disagreed on many things, primarily the definition of “slight right turn” and whether or not that field of sunflowers was technically a roundabout.
But here’s the real kicker – when you finally arrive at Zip Cannabis, everything makes perfect sense. The recreational dispensary experience is so smooth and professional, you’ll forget all about your hilarious journey getting there. Their budtenders don’t judge you for showing up looking like you’ve just completed an epic quest through the Michigan wilderness (which, let’s be honest, you kind of have).
Pro tip: When someone in Hartford tells you “you can’t miss it,” that’s actually a challenge. You can, in fact, miss it several times in increasingly creative ways.
Whether you’re seeking medical marijuana or recreational cannabis, just remember – the journey to Zip Cannabis might make you feel like you need GPS therapy, but the destination is worth every confused turn and mysterious cornfield encounter. And hey, at least you’ll have some entertaining stories to share while waiting in line at the dispensary!
Remember folks: always drive responsibly, and maybe pack a snack. Those cornfields start looking mighty suspicious when you’re hangry.